It’s Time To Rethink Mother’s Day

It’s time mothers take back Mother’s Day and make it a day that celebrates them. You see it all the time, every Mother’s Day weekend if you’re brave enough to venture to your local supermarket. Groups of men twenty deep huddled around flower cases and card displays picking up last minutes gifts for their wives and mothers.

To that, I say thanks but no thanks.

Women like planning, we like forethought. You know what forethought tells us? It shows us that you care. I mean, it’s not like you didn’t know Mother’s Day wasn’t coming up. It happens every year in May.

If you stop and think about it, what is the point of Mother’s Day? It’s supposed to be a day about celebrating the mother figures in our lives. A day to let them know that we appreciate them. I know quite a few mothers who don’t feel appreciated. I only feel that way some of the time. Most mothers go 364 days a year without ever getting a thank you. And that’s an unfortunate state of affairs.

Why should you thank your mother? If I have to give you a reason why then you’re beyond hope. It’s more than just acknowledging a mom for giving you life it’s for their sacrifice. Yeah, I said it a sacrifice. Mothers are shining examples of the word sacrifice.

Let’s take my mother as an example. She was a single parent, raising my brother and me. She had lots of aspirations for her life, none of which she was able to achieve. She worked hard and gave my brother and I every opportunity to have a successful life. The life she would have had if she hadn’t been stuck with us.

I know what you might think, parenthood is a choice, and she chose to have us and take care of us. Yes, that’s true, but she could have been a shitty parent. Shrink’s offices are full of the products of shitty parents. Instead, she chose to have us and be the best parent she could be. I’ll always be grateful for that. The best thing you can do for a child is to bring them to adulthood with the least amount of baggage. For the most part, she accomplished that.

With my children, I’ve sacrificed a lot. I don’t expect applause or a pat on the back for it because I do it freely. All mothers do this every day and all day. We give of ourselves freely because we love our families. All we ask in return is a day where that sacrifice and all that love is appreciated. I don’t think it’s a  tall order or too much to ask.

The problem I have with Mother’s Day is that it forces moms to celebrate the day on everyone else’s terms. The last thing I want on Mother’s Day is breakfast in bed. A plate of half burned crap with orange juice spilled over half of it doesn’t engender thank you for everything you do mom. Neither does sitting in a packed restaurant around everyone else’s bad ass screaming kids. I’d rather stay home.

Everyone is all about self-care these days. Mothers are no different, we need to care for ourselves too and Mother’s Day is the perfect day to do it. Sit down and think about what you would like to do to celebrate yourself on Mother’s Day and do that. If it involves being far away from your family then so be it. We deserve it. We’ve sacrificed all year, and this is our one day to celebrate ourselves.

This Mother’s Day I bought a gift for myself and gave the box to my husband and said this is from you and the kids for me for Mother’s Day. He knew better than to ask questions. The kids wrote me notes and made a little keepsake book for me because I love things I can keep. In the morning, I’ll make breakfast of all the things I like to eat. I plan on getting takeout for dinner, so I don’t have to cook. The rest of the day I’ll spend doing things that rejuvenate me, reading, writing, watching an entire series on Netflix, and window shopping on Amazon. (Which means putting a whole bunch of stuff in my cart I have zero intention of buying). The bottom line is, I’m going to enjoy my day on my terms.

I think we owe that to all mothers. It’s time we made Mother’s Day more about moms and less about society’s expectations about what they feel a mom deserves. When was the last time you asked your mom what she would like to do for Mother’s Day?

Maybe it’s time we all started.

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